|When The Blood Burns|
|Season One, Episode Nine|
|Air date||September 6, 2005|
|Written by|| James Griffin|
|Directed by||Michael Bennett|
My Dearest Foe
The Fat Weed That Roots Itself
When The Blood Burns is the ninth episode of Season One.
Van is increasingly disgruntled with his job as lap-dog for the unholy alliance of Suzy and Tracy Hong. He threatens to quit. Mr Hong, however, stops him by offering him a much more important position within the Hong family organization. This new ‘opportunity’ turns out to be as manager of a bargain basement shop called the Lucky Dollar Store.
Unfortunately for Van, his first day as manager turns into a disaster when, after doing stock inventory on a delivery of kids’ collector dueling cards called Fuji-ma Royal, he discovers a discrepancy between what left the Hong warehouse and what ended up at the Lucky Dollar Store.
So Van goes to the courier company involved in transporting the cards from the warehouse to the store, to try and track down where these missing cards might be. The courier company is owned by the Doslic family, the staunch West Auckland family of Pascalle’s best friend, Draska. Mr Doslic, unfortunately, takes great umbrage at Van’s unwitting implication that they stole the cards.
Mr Hong, in turn, responds to the news of the theft by canceling his contract with the ‘dirty, thieving’ Doslic clan.
It transpires, therefore, that before Van can say ‘now hang on, that’s not what I meant’ he has inadvertently sparked a rapidly escalating war between the West Auckland Chinese community and the West Auckland Dalmation community. And the only way he can rectify the situation is by finding out who actually did take the missing cards. Van is on the case!
Meanwhile, Jethro also falls foul of the Hong family when finds that Trapman Stierson, has a new client. The Hong family; in the form of Tracy Hong. Now, the last time Tracy and Jethro spent any time together was when he slept with her whilst pretending to be Van. She has discovered this and has not forgiven him for it and demands an apology.
So he apologises. But is an insincere apology and she tells him as much and demands that he come up with something much better – if he wants to get in her good books (or her bed).
As Van goes about his investigations into the card theft, the Chinese/Dalmation feud spills over into the West family. Mrs Doslic cancels her offer to host one of Cheryl’s lingerie parties. Posters of Pascalle are defaced. Loretta gets spat at in the street. Eventually Mrs Doslic and Cheryl end up in a shopping bag fight in the supermarket car park.
The only ally Van has in this whole messed-up situation is Draska. She believes in Van and will do anything to help him. And if he wants to root her along the way, that’s just fine with her. Van declines her offer – he needs to concentrate on the matter at hand.
Meanwhile, Jethro’s attempts to ‘apologize’ to Tracy Hong are failing left right and centre. Loretta is not surprised at this, as she knows Jethro is incapable of a sincere apology. He thinks she’s talking bullshit. Or maybe not.
Whilst on duty, protecting the Hong warehouse from a possible Dalmation arson attack, Van uncovers the true identity of the thief.
Van is gutted – how could Munter do this to him?
As it turns out, Van was the one who inadvertently gave Munter everything he needed to commit the crime (like the keys to the building, the security codes and so forth) and Munter has been selling the cards to various people around town, including Eric. In a way, Van realises, this is all his fault. Bugger.
Thus when Van finds out that (thanks to some advice Jethro gave Tracy whilst trying to get in sweet with her) the Hongs and the Doslics are going to sort this thing out in an ‘old school’ way, not involving the police, he freaks. With images of street fights in his head, he can’t have the blood of innocent people on his conscience. But neither can he dob in his best friend. He shares this dilemma with Draska, who worries about how torn up Van is about all this.
But Van has to do the right thing. He has to confess all, to make this right. He has to stop the bloodshed before it starts.
Only by the time he gets face to face with Mr Hong and Mr Doslic they are already very good mates and getting drunk together, getting on like a house on fire. It transpires that Draska has given them the name of the person who did it and they have sent their boys around to sort him out.
But the name Draska gave them turns out not to be Munter, but Eric (because no-one really likes him). So Eric gets beaten up as the sacrificial lamb, without ever understanding quite why he’s getting the shit kicked out of him by the West Auckland United Nations. And the war is over.
Jethro, meanwhile, confesses to Tracy that he can’t say sorry for sleeping with her under false pretences is that he’s not sorry. He loved every second of it – and he very much wants to do it again. In this way, Tracy and Jethro launch into their affair.
And so the West family and the Doslic family make peace. And when Van finds Draska waiting for him in his bedroom, they do a whole lot more than that.