The West Family Rules were rules passed down by Ted West to the younger generation as general life guidelines.
The most important of these, which all of the Wests agree upon, is the famous "Wests never dob."
- Wests never dob.
- Never burgle on a full moon. (It's light — you get seen.)
- Never hide money where a dog can find it. (If a dog can get it, any bugger with a shovel can dig it up.)
- Don't drink absinthe, even on a full stomach. (Disgusting stuff, makes you sick.)
- 304. "Contagious Blastments"