No Noble Rite
Season 3, Episode 9
Pascalle challenges Linda to strip pool.
Air date 11 September 2007
Written by James Griffin
Fiona Samuel
Directed by Murray Keane
Episode guide
Oh Horrible! Most Horrible!
These Feats So Crimeful

No Noble Rite was the ninth episode of Season Three and the 39th episode overall.


Pascalle banishes all men in her quest to be the best Muslim bride ever; as Jethro finds that breaking up is hard to do.


Bruce is off to a conference, and he’s worried that in his absence, Pascalle will be meeting his difficult sister, Linda. Pascalle waves away Bruce’s concerns – his sister will love her and she knows exactly what to do. She’ll host a female-only, Muslim-approved party, with no drinking; and she’ll kick all male members of the household out for the evening. No worries. So the odd triumvirate of Judd, Grandpa and Van, are banished to the pub. Here they encounter something very strange indeed: Munter, at the bar, actually working. On finding this, Van bails, but Grandpa has high hopes for free drinks. To his disappointment, however, Munter seems hell bent on doing the job properly. Judd and Grandpa are left to some uncomfortable bonding as…

Loretta is taking out her newly single bad mood by wanting to kick out Draska, who isn’t even family. But Draska’s news that she’s found Van a job, means she’s still in. And she’s now determined to resume her status as Pascalle’s bestest friend. As Linda arrives, Pascalle is determined to impress. But Linda ups the ante: if this bridal party is to be fully traditional, then they need do the bra’zan. This ritual turns out to be a lot like a Brazilian. But after everyone has (almost fully) submitted to this, Cheryl works out that Linda may be yanking everyone’s chain. But she’s willing to go along with the next ritual, since the hu’si, is for the bride alone. And so, only after Pascalle has submitted to colonic irrigation does she find the ‘brazen hussy’ is Linda’s idea of a joke. Pascalle is one angry bride-to-be.

At the pub, where Munter wrangles his latest unruly punters, Pascalle turns the tables on Linda with a game of strip pool. Linda is well up for this (as are all the spectators). But it seems Pascalle is a playing-pool-while-pissed champion, so Linda has most of her kit off before Munter calls a halt to proceedings and expels the women from the pub, including Kasey. But Linda by now has also dropped the bombshell that she thinks Pascalle is wrong for Bruce. Also by now, Judd and Grandpa are now of the opinion that Munter is taking this job thing far too seriously, and when he kicks out Falani, and is prepared to boot both of them, they are united in playing their own practical joke as revenge.

Meanwhile, Jethro is taking Treena out to dinner. His plan to dump her are in direct conflict with her big news: that she’s left her husband for him. But as Jethro is doing the deed, he runs in to Gary, who makes it clear that keeping Treena on hand would be beneficial. Jethro is trying to finesse an angry Treena with some flannel about a more open relationship, when some of messy bridal party arrive in. Now Draska defends Pascalle against Linda. But just as this seems to have made matters worse, Linda now reveals why Pascalle is wrong for Bruce. She’s way too good for her no-fun brother. At this, Pascalle puts up a heartfelt defence, and gets Linda’s blessing – if she can get he phone number of that cute guy.

As the evening ends, Munter decides that working is too hard and Kasey, who’s missed him madly, is in full agreement. Jethro, having started out wanting to dump a girlfriend, now ends up with both Treena and Linda.

And Pascalle is left to bond with Draska, who is now thrilled to be appointed her bridesmaid. They are the only ones who really understand true love.