It Cannot Come To Good
Season 1, Episode 11
Jethro talks to Cheryl.
Air date September 20, 2005
Written by James Griffin
Directed by Jonathon Brough
Episode guide
The Fat Weed That Roots Itself
To Be Honest As This World Goes


The crime of the century - in a Van West style; Cheryl is the victim of rumour and innuendo; and Pascalle gets a taste of fame.


Van and Draska are officially a couple: Draska has taken the opportunity to move into the West house and Van gets a blow job every morning so he’s not complaining. But Van is not entirely a happy boy. For starters, some unknown thugs smash up his car for reasons he cannot understand. The only message the thugs give is ‘tell her she’s been warned’ – which means nothing to Van.

Meanwhile, Pascalle is living the high life with Grant – and getting caught in various compromising positions by the paparazzi (alerted to their whereabouts by Pascalle, through Sandy). As Grant drowns his sorrows and rails about the photographers who always seem to know where they are, Pascalle is being driven mad by having to serve Sandy’s needs – and Grant’s.

To keep Pascalle sweet, Sandy promises that Pascalle will appear in a reality TV show called ‘Celebrities Ahoy!’ in which many celebrities are stranded on a deserted island. Pascalle, now thinking that her ship has come in and that she can finally get rid of Grant, dumps him – and not in a nice way.

Cheryl visits Wolf. He’s acting kinda weird around her. It transpires that the word is going round that Cheryl, having been seen at the scene of Luther Wallace’s arrest, was the one who informed upon him. Cheryl is astounded that anyone would think this – and is even more disappointed that Wolf seems to be treating the idea seriously.

On a later prison visit, Van finds out that his father is very frustrated at the fact that he’s stuck in prison while his family is under threat. Thus spurred on, Van meets up with Munter and tells his best mate that he knows exactly how to solve his father’s problems: there is a money lending place, run by a Tongan bloke, Mr Sevele, a few doors down from the Lucky Dollar Store. Every Friday Mr Sevele and his mother go to a coffee shop for a cup of coffee and a lamington. Van has watched, every Friday for a while now, how she takes a bag of money from the money store and puts it in the boot of her car, parked in the alley out the back, before they go. It just sits there, unguarded, while they’re having coffee.

Van knows that he could steal it if he really wanted to. And driven on by the need to provide heaps of money to Corky[, the family lawyer, in order for Wolf’s appeal against his conviction to proceed, Van hatches the plan to steal the money. Munter is up for this – for a 50/50 split. The old team is back in business.

Meanwhile, on the Cheryl front, the family rallies around, believing her to be under threat. Cheryl, for her part, doesn’t believe for a second anyone would think it was her, because everyone knows informing is not her way. The counter-argument is that since Cheryl is no longer a part of that game, no one is sure whether she’s against it.

This is certainly a view shared by Wayne Judd – who is very keen to protect Cheryl whether she wants his protection or not.

So as the family (and hangers on) assemble at the house to defend her, Cheryl is slowly driven mad. Then a garden gnome is thrown through the glass door and Cheryl’s protection squad goes into over-drive.

So Cheryl sneaks out and goes to a motel.

However, she’s followed there by a mysterious car, the driver of which turns out to be none other than Wayne Judd. She invites him to stay for a drink; he tells her how he feels about her; one thing leads to another and….

They end up in bed together: the final consummation of an affair that’s been building since that knock on the door on the day that Wolf was put away.

The next morning, Van and Munter, that finely honed criminal crack team, launch into a rather complex plan involving walkie-talkies and split second timing, to steal the money while the Seveles are having their coffee and lamingtons.

Needless to say, it all goes wrong: the walkie-talkie communication fails and Munter can’t get the car started. Meanwhile Van, in the Lucky Dollar Store, gets into an argument with Draska, who thinks that all the time Van has spent with Munter is actually because he doesn’t want to be with her any more.

Into the middle of this runs Munter with not one, but many bags of money that he found in the boot of the car. All this has been caught on video surveillance in the store. As the boys start to panic, Draska leaps into action and takes control of the situation. She disappears with Munter and the money, leaving Van to destroy the video evidence.

It’s only when Judd and Hickey interrogate Van that he finds out that there was actually $80,000 in the boot of the Sevele’s car. He has just scored the biggest score in West family history. Alright!

Of course, when Judd got the call about the crime he was in bed with Cheryl – so she’s got her alibi sorted.

Meanwhile, over in Pascalle’s world, it turns out it was Grant who threw the gnome through the window – not taking his rejection well. Unfortunately Pascalle also discovers she’s been gazzumped by Sandy, who has taken Grant back into her arms to reap the benefit of all the publicity that will follow. Pascalle is to be left in the cold and has been dumped by her modeling agency – at Sandy’s insistence.

Pascalle does not take this well – as Sandy’s broken nose will testify.

An unforeseen complication to Van’s crime of the century is that when he gets home he finds that Draska has not only disappeared with the money, she’s actually disappeared the money. She reckons it’s best he doesn’t know where it is so he won’t be able to tell the cops. Draska also has a plan to explain how they got the money: it was given to them by her relatives in Melbourne.

Van is confused – why would Draska’s relatives give them heaps of money?

So that they can pay for Van and Draska’s wedding, of course.

And, in this way, Van gets engaged.