Ted West

Ted West
Personal details
Born	Theodore West 1939
Status	Alive
Residence	West house, Auckland Aztec Road, Henderson, Auckland (former)
Occupation	Career criminal, safe cracker
Also known as	Ted Grandpa
Relations
Spouse	Ngaire West Rita West (former, deceased)
Children	Wolf West
Siblings	1 sister
Relatives	Jethro West (grandson) Van West (grandson) Pascalle West (granddaughter) Loretta West (granddaughter) Jane West (great-granddaughter)

Theodore "Ted" West is a career criminal and an expert safe cracker. Married to Rita West, he is the father of Wolf West and the grandfather of Helena, Jethro, Van, Pascalle and Loretta West.

Overview

Ted is the patriarch of the West family and gifted the iconic West house to Wolf and Cheryl. He is a master safe cracker. He was married to Rita West for a long period of time and loved her dearly. When he was young, he narked on his uncle for doing a job. It was thought Ted had Alzheimers, but in Season 2 it was discovered he had psychotic symptoms due to a brain tumour. After his surgery, Ted's personality completely changed and so did his character. Ted used to be particularly close to granddaughter, Loretta. In Season 3, Ted found out Rita had cheated on him and in his shock and grief from her betrayal, ending up burning one of his only remaining pictures of her. In Season 4, Ted married Ngaire Munroe, the wife of an old friend. Ted was a father figure to Wayne Judd until Judd kicked Ted out of the house which caused a deep contempt between the two.

Biography

Background

Theodore "Ted" West was born in 1939. Ted married Rita after a whirlwind courtship, when she was only 16 years old. Together they had a son in 1962, Wolfgang.

Ted became acquainted with Lefty Munroe, Bilkey van Heeder, Bert Thompson and Phineas O'Driscoll in 1962. They were his crew in criminal activity, and built things job by job. He eventually became their de facto leader.

On one job, the gang burnt down a post office by accident because Lefty flicked his fag into a rubbish bin.

As a cover for his real occupation as career criminal, Ted worked as a locksmith for Henderson Valley Locks.

Smith & Caughey's job and imprisonment

Around Christmas 1970, Ted and the crew broke into the Smith & Caughey's department store to get to the safe of the jewellers next door, where there was a safe filled with krugerrands — South African gold coins. After loading the coins into the van, they went back in for some Christmas shopping, during which someone stole and got away with their van. (Unbeknownst to Ted, it was his wife Rita, in co-operation with Ngaire Munroe and Carol O'Driscoll, wanting to secure themselves an inheritance as crime wives.) The police arrived at the scene, and Ted served three years in Mount Eden Prison for the crime.

Ted shows Rita their new home.

Released on January 24, 1974, he came home to a wife struggling economically after being cut off from the payroll from the jobs done by the rest of his crew, and a son who was less than happy to have him home. Returning to his crew, he found that Lefty had taken charge in his absence, and they were focusing on different types of crimes, like robberies. Tensions arose in the crew due to Ted wanting to do things the old way, in addition to suspicions about who ratted them out to the cops. Partly due to persuasion from Rita's part, Ted announced he would part ways the group, citing a difference in philosophies. During the finale of the Commonwealth Games, while everyone was focused on the television, Ted cracked the safe in the tavern. With proceeds from the job, he bought a new house for his family. He gave each member of his crew a share of the rest, and got back in with them, now having reinstated himself as leader.

Involvement with the Doslics

In November 1975, Ted went on a two week road trip of the North Island with his gang to carry out a string of robberies, including visits to Tokoroa and Tauranga, finishing off with a robbery in Hamilton to pick up trinkets for the ladies on the way home. Upon arriving home, he found that Rita had gotten herself into a conflict with the Doslics, a family of Dalmatians who just moved in down the street, over a tree in their yard that Wolf had uprooted. Rita explained that she picked fights because she was bored and in need of something to do, and Ted suggested they could have a second kid. Ted visited the Doslics to resolve the conflict, and after drinking a fair amount of wine discovered that Darijo Doslic worked with heavy machinery and had ambitions to become a criminal.

Ted and the gang leaving for the Martha job.

Ted saw an opportunity to go through with a job in the Martha mine, which was previously impossible because of the security at the site and the time it would take to crack the Shotzinger 609 safe. Ted, the gang and Darijo went to the gold mine in Waihi where the safe was located, shut the security guards inside their shed, and Darijo used a digger to load the safe onto a truck which they escaped with. Ted cracked the safe.

The next day, he woke up to his gang and the wives all gathered in his living room to inform him that Rod Nugent had stolen Ngaire Munroe's necklace. Bilkey suggested Rita should take over his shop, but Ted saw right through it and realized that Rita had orchestrated the whole thing. He resisted the idea, reasoning that it wasn't Rita's world, saying "I do what I do so you don't have to."

Before they could discuss the matter further, Ted was visited by Darijo and taken to a warehouse. Dafna Doslic, Darijo's sister, demanded that he hand over all the money from the job, as reparations for the shame brought onto her family for involving her brother in crime. Ted made a call to Rita, who had already surmised that Ted had been kidnapped, and made Wolf go and get Dafna's daughter Maria. Rita used her as leverage for Ted to be freed, and he was brought home safely.

Rita had convinced Ted, and got her way. On their way to vote in the election on November 29th, the pair of them visited "Nugent's World of Goods" with a box of cash to buy him out of the shop. Ted voted for the Labour Party, which won in the Henderson electorate, while Rita voted for the National Party, which won the election.

Season One

Ted is introduced to us as a slightly senile old man who has burnt down his flat because he is lonely, and wants to move in with his daughter-in-law and grandchildren. (Slings And Arrows)

Later, Ted walks into a yoga class and starts mistaking the teacher for his deceased wife. Cheryl gives Loretta the job of looking after him for the day. Loretta takes him to The Video Hut. Ted sees someone he thinks he knows and follows her. It turns out to be his old friend Mark, who he learns is a trans woman, who changed her named to Margaret and transitioned after she escaped from prison. They start dating and the two start to plan a robbery. Ted and Margaret decide to move to Tauranga much to the horror of the family. The job goes ahead without a problem. But before the two can leave to Tauranga, Loretta blackmails Margaret telling her that she will dob her in unless she never contacts Ted again. Ted never hears from Margaret again, crushing his soul. Using peoples sorrow towards him, Ted manages to successfully scam the likes of Eric, Rochelle, Falani and Munter of alot of money in the game of poker.

Season Two

Ted is very proud when his youngest granddaughter Loretta manages to scull a yard glass of beer for her 16th birthday. Ted notices Loretta becomes very sick around Hayden Peters and informs her it means she is in love. When Pascalle gives Ted some ecstacy he goes missing. Loretta finds him at the place where Rita's ashes were spread, the front garden. Ted does not get on with Cheryl's new boyfriend and policeman, Wayne Judd and tries to make his life hell. After Ted nearly catches the kitchen alight, Cheryl suggests he move to a retirement village. The rest of the family disagree, until they are given the task of looking after him. Ted declines the offer but Jethro talks to him and he eventually agrees. Ted is sent to The Janet Frame Resthome where he gets a call from missing son, Wolf. After medical assesment, it is determined Ted does not have Alzheimers like originally thought, rather he is having psychosis due to a brain tumour. Ted has the tumour removed successfully and his psychotic symptoms disappear.

Outrageous Fortune: The Movie

Ted went around the beach looking for Ritas ring and met two women, Bev and Viv who he started a sexual relationship with. It is revealed later that he was really looking for a box of cash from a TAB that he buried years earlier. He ditches the two however when he learns they are cops.

Season Three

Ted gets expelled from the Janet Frame Resthome after contributing to an elderly persons death. Ted gets annoyed at Cheryl and decides to get Judd to break up with her by sending him nail files and other such things in cakes to his jail cell hoping he will get in trouble. Loretta notices Ted is using prostitutes but Ted defends himself. When Aurora dies after running from the police as Van narked on her, Ted refuses to believe his grandson would so such a thing. When he finds out the truth, he requests Van get kicked out of the house. But Loretta discovers that Ted narked on his uncle back when he was young and when the West Family curse started. Ted starts to rob the Galleria but is caught by Judd. When Ted learns that Hayden Peters wants nothing to do with his daughter, Ted forms a lynch mob with Falani and Jethro and together the three travel to Brisbane and beat up Hayden.

Ted is surprised to see Judd has become friends with Mike McCarthy, a policeman who arrested Ted. Together, Judd and Ted bond over a puzzle Pascalle brings home. Ted's friend Lefty Munroe dies and Ted is annoyed to see his spiteful wife Ngaire at the ceremony. Ted spots a photo of Ngaire with two china dogs and he confronts Ngaire of stealing them and dobbing him in for a robbery which got him sent to jail. Ngaire later confronts him telling him the truth, Rita did it. Ted is heart broken.

Ted starts to help Judd with his security job and when he learns a man named Colin suspects his wife of having an affair, he goes to check it out. It turns out to be his friend Bev that he met at Tutaekuri Bay. Together the two start an affair. Bev tells Ted she has sorted her divorce with Colin and she wants to go to France with Ted. Ted wishes he could go but he realizes that he is needed at home and he kindly rejects Bev's offer. The two break up. Ted is also disturbed when Gary Savage claims he knows all about Ted. Ted and Judd start to investigate Gary and Ted notices Garys business partner named Leon Shuker mysteriously went missing. Ted is sure he was murdered by Gary and together they visit Leon's father, Walter Shuker who agrees he was murdered, but not by Gary, but by Corky. They also realize Wolf is somehow involved, they get Falani to reveal his whereabouts and they go to visit him. Wolf does not reveal anything and Ted voices his disgust at his son and Wolf's new girlfriend Sheree. Ted and Judd continue searching and Ted finds building consents suggesting that Leon was murdered and buried under a driveway. Ted confronts Gary about this at Kasey and Munters wedding reception but is pulled back by Wolf. Wolf tells Ted the truth, Gary is Rita's son from an affair while Ted was in jail. Ted does not believe that Rita would cheat on him, but Wolf assures him it is the truth. Ted is last seen burning one of his last photos of Rita and bursting into tears.

Season Four

Grandpa gets arrested by Monica Judd for digging up the driveway he suspect Leon was buried under. Judd tells him that now Gary has ditched New Zealand there is no point carrying on the investigation. Ted walks off angrily. Ted decides to find Gary's father that knocked up Rita. He begins to watch old videos to track down the culprit. He suspects many including Bilkey, who he confronts at The Rusty Nail. Bilkey denys the rumour and insists he is gay. Ted decides it must be Phineas O'Driscoll and he confronts him with a knife at a retirement home. Phineas has had a stroke and can not move but Ted takes it as an act of defiance and tries to kill him. Judd stops him however and makes up a lie claiming Teds friend Bert Thompson who died 10 years ago was the culprit. Loretta finds out the true father was Vern Gardiner. She is also shocked to learn that Vern may be Wolfs father making Ted be of no relation. Ted is left to look after Baby Jane but he passes her on to Sparky and it is not long before she is declared missing. However she is soon found again. Ted also gets concerned for Judd when he thinks he has sperm buildup for not ejaculating in a long time, Judd has sex with Cheryl and Ted is pleased. Ted is scared when his penis can not get erect and he decides to try and find sex. He runs into Ngaire Munroe who wants a prized jewel stolen for her. Ted steals it and she is very pleased. Ted sees prospective of sex so he continues stealing for Ngaire, enraging Loretta and Judd. Judd realizes he is in trouble as Ted is using his connections to Judd Security to break into places. Judd manages to save Ted from being arrested for just this. Ted returns to Ngaire and she announces her love. Ted proposes and she accepts. They get married in a big celebration which ends up getting gatecrashed by Ted's son Wolf.

Season Five

Ted requests that he and Ngaire move to the basement, after a few fights Cheryl gives in. But Ted invites friends around to play poker with very loud music and sometimes they watch porn films. Cheryl eventually kicks him out. Halfway through the season, Ted enters a poker match against Tony Wu. He wins the first time, but the second time, he loses 25,000 dollars he had stolen from Pascalle. He promises he will get it back and agrees to do a job for Nicky. The job is reported to the police by Sheree in her rampage and Ted is arrested. Ted shares a jail cell with Dane Harris and becomes good friends with Sparky. In prison, Ngaire barely visits Ted, and Loretta claims Ngaire is having an affair. Ted refuses to see her and under Jethro's advice, agrees to pretend to be mentally insane. He gets out with home detention till his next hearing. He forgives Ngaire and the happy couple enjoy a night in. Ted becomes deeply scarred by the death of Judd and Cheryl's baby but is annoyed the funeral was to not be in West Auckland. But Judd names the baby after Ted and he forgives him. Ted gets visited by Eric in a dream saying that Ted will die in prison, so he sets about making a will. He gives his vintage porn collection to Judd, 25,000 dollars to Pascalle, half his estate to Ngaire and the other half to baby Jane. He also shows Loretta where he hid his secret money. But Nicky hands himself into the police and Ted gets off the charges. Ted reluctantly takes back everything he gave out.

Season Six

It is revealed after the murder of Detective Sergeant Zane Gerard, Ted has been imprisoned as he assaulted a police officer. By the third episode Ted has been released on home detention. Ted later joins Hayden and Ngaire in a cellphone scam. After Nicky escapes prison, Ted sneakily hands Pascalle a secret cellphone to contact Nicky. Ted also tries to convince Pascalle to go to Thailand with Nicky. When Judd finds out that Ted has helped with Nickys plan, he kicks Ted out. With no opposition by his grandchildren, Ted and Ngaire move into Ngaire's house. Ted vows to Jethro he will get revenge on Judd. Ted and Ngaire spot Sparky in a new identity after escaping prison. Ted deciedes to make a new crew. Sparky is hesitant but Ted blackmails him. Ngaire gets sick of Ted stinking up her house and requests Judd to take him back. Ted gets offended and walks out on Ngaire. Ted, Eric, Falani and Sparky set about stealing Judd's securtiy mechanisms and selling them on. Eric, Falani and Sparky drop out and Ngaire, wanting to get back with Ted helps him. The two get back together. Ted supports Jethro when he gets Cheryl's sister Mandy to visit and try to get her to start an affair with Judd so he moves out. Ted steals $600 of Van's and bets it in a horse race, he wins. Van offers Ted a burglary and together the two rob the Rusty Nail but Jethro stops them saying it will be too obvious it was them. Ted is shocked to learn that Jethro is working alongside his nemesis, Tony Wu and their alliance is broken. Jethro gleefully informs Ted that Pascalle and Judd slept together and it seems like Ted will be going back home. Ted happily reclaims his throne at the West House and he and Ngaire take the master bedroom. Ted decides to start a lynch mob against Judd. He, Falani, Aaron, Eric, Rochelle and Kasey all attack Judd and the Doslics which ends up with Van's $20,000 flying everywhere. Ted steals some of the money. Loretta learns of this and forces Ted to return it to Van. Ted denies knowing about the money so Loretta destroys his caravan. This upsets Ted but he agrees to return the money. Ted is displeased when Cheryl returns from prison and to spite her they buy a large new caravan. Ted is disgusted at Pascalle and Judd and refuses to be civil with them. At Van and Elena's wedding, Ted pisses on Judd. Judd leans forward and kisses the man. Ted walks off disgusted.

Ted is last seen enjoying himself playing poker with his wife and friends.

Personality and traits

Ted was rational and diplomatic, preferring to keep peace and maintain good relations. Politically, Ted favoured a social democratic ideology, voting for the Labour Party, stating that his "blood runs red."

Although making a career out of criminal activity, Ted was an honorable man, having his own set of rules that he strictly adhered to. Loyalty was a very important value for him, having made it his life's rule that he never dobs — not ever. Upon being suspected of being a nark, he would become infuriated. He took pride in having built his own fortune and the hard work he put in with his crew, and was especially proud of his proficient skill in safe cracking.

Ted wanted more children and presumably dreamt of a large family, buying a house with four bedrooms. His wife, however, had other ambitions and they only had one child together.

Appearances

Outrageous Fortune

• 101. "Slings and Arrows"

Westside

• 101. "All That Impedes Thee from the Golden Round"
• 102. "Is't Far You Ride?"
• 103. "Instruments of Darkness Tell Us Truths"
• 104. "Our Poison'd Challice"
• 105. "Dire Combustion"
• 106. "But for a Wayward Son"

Behind the scenes

Ted was initially named Edward West, but it failed the name check as a real person had the same name and occupation.