"All That Impedes Thee from the Golden Round" is the first episode of the first series of Westside. It originally aired on TV3 on May 31, 2015.

Plot synopsis Edit

Westside 1x01 - Ted leaving prison

Ted released from prison.

On January 24, 1974, Ted West steps out the gates of Mt. Eden Prison. He is met by D.S. Mike McCarthy, who wants to have a word about the circumstances of the Smith & Caughey's job which landed Ted in prison, where there was a hole in the wall, a safe that never got opened, and a jeweller who said nothing went missing before he skipped the country. McCarthy tells Ted to get in his car - he's got something for him.

Meawhile, Ted's wife Rita West visits Rod Nugent's pawn shop with her son Wolf to get her wedding ring back in exchange for a coffee grinder. Rod tells her they can "work something out" and suggests they head out the back, to which Rita responds by kneeing him in the crotch. As they arrive home, Rita applauds her son for the portable radio he stole. The neighbour boy Vern turns out to be back from the bay, and shouts from across the fence that he's missed Rita and loves her. She warns him that her husband is out today, and if he finds out about her affair, Vern will be dead.

Westside 1x01 - Smith & Caughey's job

The Smith & Caughey's job.

McCarthy questions Ted on which of his mates, Bert, Phineas, Bilkey or Lefty, who all did less time than him, ratted him to the cops. He's got a present for Ted in the trunk: his bag that he used on the job. A flashback shows Ted, three years earlier, opening the safe with the krugerrands - "the treasure that isn't here." Rita is preparing dinner when Ted arrives home, and they start making out passionately. Wolf enters the room, and seems less than enthusiastic to see his father. After they've made love, Ted questions Rita where her ring is. She tells him she had to hock it as things have been a bit tight, since she didn't get a share of the gang's jobs because of a new rule where only working members get a cut.

Ted leaves to visit Lefty Munroe at his new place, but is met by his wife Ngarie, who directs him to the tavern, where he meets the lads. He questions them why Rita was cut out of the jobs, but is informed that she wasn't - there just haven't been many jobs lately. They're now planning to steal K9's, top of the line colour televisions that everyone wants so they can watch the Commonwealth Games in color. Lefty says he's welcome to be in on the job. A flashback shows them loading the krugerrands into the getaway van before going inside to do some extra christmas shopping. When they went outside again, the van was already gone and two police cars arrived on the scene. When he comes home for the night, Wolf rants to Rita about Lefty "waving his dick around" and the planned burglary: "where's the skill in that?" He's sure that one of them ratted and is sitting on a pile of krugerrands and is intent to find out who it is. As they make love, Rita spots Vern peeping through the window.

Westside 1x01 - Rita and Vern

Rita gives Vern lamingtons.

The next day at breakfast, Rita has made lamingtons and Wolf is leaving for school. Ted talks to him, and Wolf responds with short answers and an indifferent attitude. Rita tells Ted to leave him alone, as he's not used to Ted being there after three years of being the man of the house. After the men leave, Rita puts rat poision back in the counter, and goes to the neighbours with the lamingtons. She informs Vern that they can never have what they had, but she's thinking of him. Ted goes to the pawn shop to get the ring back, attempting to steal it, but Nugent threatens to call the cops. At home, they're watching the games, Wolf excitedly noting the results. Lefty calls with details of the job tonight. Wolf asks Rita how long Ted is back for, and seems disappointed when she responds "for good".

At the job, Ted wants to have a crack at a safe in the warehouse, but Lefty denies him, telling him he's not calling the shots any more. An argument erupts outside, where they start throwing around accusations at each other about who ratted them out. A car is spotted around the corner, and, believing it to be the cops, they abort the job. It turns out to be a man getting serviced by a prostitute. Once more, Ted airs his frustrations to his wife at bedtime. Rita suggests that he doesn't need the others, and could do a better job on his own. Vern is peeking through the windows again, and is this time spotted by Ted, who is furious and wants to go after him. Rita stops him, and says they should get a place somewhere else.

Wolf counts coins at the breakfast table, which he earned from running a betting book at school for the games. Ted takes the money from him, as they "share and share alik in this house. Ted goes to the tavern to meet Bert, where Mike McCarthy questions him about the tellies stolen last night. At home, Rita is digging up krugerrands in her garden as Vern comes to visit. His dad was put in the hospital because of the poisoned lamingtons, but Vern says he can forgive anything from her, except her sleeping with Ted. To impress her, he shows her weed that he grew himself. Vern wants her to go away with him, and suggests they can find their own little boy and take him back, but Rita doesn't know where he went and doesn't want to talk about it. She tells him he has to be patient.

Westside 1x01 - Ted annoucing his departure

Ted announcing his departure from the crew.

Rita prepares sausage rolls before leaving for a party at the Munroes'. Wolf says he liked it better when it was just he and his mother, and she tells him it will get better soon. When everyone has arrived - Bilky with a girlfriend named Shandy, Phineas with his wife Carol - the women retreat to the kitchen while the men discuss in the living room. The women talk about their children, and Carol still has none. Wolf shows his willie to Ngaire in exchange for seeing their knickers. The men split the income from the television burglary, and Ted announces his decision to part ways with the other lads.

Ted gets ready to leave for a job, but doesn't want to clue Rita in on the details, telling her to take care of the boy if something goes wrong. She tells him Wolf is his son too, and to give him a "fucking break", and Ted shows an interest in Wolf's bets for the games today. At the tavern, Bilkey and Bert offer Ted their loyalties if he wants to start a new gang. While everyone is occupied waching the final race in the games, Ted leaves for the back room, where he cracks the safe and steals the money. When he comes home, he shares some of the money with Wolf. The cops arrive and arrest Vern for his weed. As he is taken away, he shouts "How could you do this?" as it was Rita who called them.

Westside 101 - Wolf Rita

Ted and Rita at their new home.

Ted goes to the pawn shop and gets the wedding ring back, punching Rod in the face in response to his comment that "it's not even real gold." Later, he drives Rita to a house, where he's put the wedding ring and a key to the house in the letterbox. He says it's the key to the castle for his queen, and Rita is thrilled to see her new home. After moving in, they throw a party at the new house. Ted gives the lads each their share from the job at the tavern and offers them to go back into business.

Ngaire accuses Rita of cashing in the krugerrands to afford the new house. Rita thinks Ngaire wanted her to, by cutting her off so she would get desperate and break cover, and Ngaire could blame Rita, even though the idea to steal the van was initially Ngaire's, as insurance in case they lost their husbands. Calling the cops was never a part of the plan, and Rita thinks Ngaire did it to get back at Lefty, while Ngaire thinks Rita did it, so she could hide a baby that wasn't Ted's the time she went on a holiday up north and Wolf revealed that "mommy got fat." They all still have their insurance, Rita having buried it under a tree she planted in the garden.

After the party, McCarthy talks with Bert to get information about Ted, Bert insisting that he would never turn on Ted. Rita is angry that Ted decided to go back into business with the lads and yells at him, but he calms her down by saying he showed them who's boss. As McCarthy watches the house, Ted takes a piss off the balcony.

Cast Edit

Soundtrack Edit

  • Going Steady by Bitch
  • Ashes and Matches by Doug Jerebine
  • The Dolphin Song by Waves
  • Wornout Rocker by Waves
  • Country High by Ticket
  • Broken Wings by Ticket
  • Yesterday Was Just the Beginning of My Life by Mark Williams
  • Join Together by Steve Allen

Appearances Edit

(in order of appearance)

Characters Edit

Locations Edit

Trivia Edit

Title Edit

As Outrageous Fortune, Westside follows the tradition of naming the episodes after lines from Shakespeare. "All that impedes thee from the golden round" is a line from Act 1, Scene 5 of the Shakespeare play Machbeth. The golden round is a crown, meaning the line refers to all that impedes one from the kingdom. In terms of the episode, the title refers to the obstacles Ted has to overcome in order to reclaim his position as the leader of his gang.

Production Edit

  • Production designer Clayton Ercolano made his grandfather ship his old Philips K9 to Auckland for the episode. When the script called for a factory full of them, Ercolano rang Philips to ask them about the graphics on the packaging of the television sets. Ercolano contacted a nerd on the internet, who found someone who previously worked in the Petone manufacturing plant and described it to him.[1]
  • The portable sauna had to be made as the crew were unable to find one.[1]

Filming locations Edit

  • Ayrton St, Auckland

Cultural references Edit

  • The 1974 Commonwealth Games serve as the historical timestamp for the episode and is referenced several times throughout the episode, with Ted being released from prison on January 24, 1974, the day the games got underway.
    • Ted’s gang perform a burglary of Phillips K9 television sets, which are in demand because people want to watch the games in color.
    • The Wests watch Dick Tayler's victory race on January 25.
    • Wolf starts a betting book for the games at his school.
    • Ted cracks the safe at the tavern while everyone is busy watching the final 1500-m run on February 2, using the same time to crack the safe as runner Filbert Bayi used to win the race.
  • Mike McCarthy wears a safari suit, which is mocked by Ted. It was a popular fashion item in New Zealand in the 1970's.
  • Vern tells how he met Blerta in Hawke's Bay - some crazy people who had land and lived together. Blerta, short for Bruno Lawrence's Electric Revelation and Travelling Apparition, was a musical and theatrical group living in a commune and touring New Zealand and Australia in the early 1970's.
  • At Ngaire Munroe's party, she served a hedgehog - a large fruit pinned with cocktail sticks with snacks. Carol brought angels on horseback, and asparagus rolls for Rita's party. All were trendy foods of the 70's.

Outrageous Fortune connections Edit

  • Loretta West’s striking resemblance to her grandmother Rita, both in personality and appearance, is referenced several times in Outrageous Fortune. Both characters are portrayed by the same actress, Antonia Prebble.
  • The Smith & Caughey’s cock-up serves as a plot point in series 3 of Outrageous Fortune, when Ted spots the china dogs he took from the store in a photograph at Lefty Munro’s wake and becomes intent on figuring out who ratted them out. Ngarie Munro identifies Rita as the nark. Cheryl West digs up the garden at Ted and Rita’s house on Aztec Road looking for krugerrands.[2]
  • Ted told Loretta how Rita would give her enemies bakings with rat poision.
  • Rita’s illegitimate love child, Gary Savage, returns in Outrageous Fortune to connect with his family. The discovery of Rita’s betrayal devastates Ted.
  • The details of Rita’s affair is revealed to Loretta by Vern, who takes an interest in her because of her striking recemblance to her grandmother.[3]
  • Carol O'Driscoll is still not pregnant despite seemingly wanting to. The reason, as revealed in Outrageous Fortune, being that her husband Phineas is shooting blanks.
  • Ted takes his first piss off the balcony of his new home, a habit he would continue in Outrageous Fortune.

Notes and references Edit

  1. 1.0 1.1 "How to create a Westside paradise" Stuff. May 24, 2015.
  2. Outrageous Fortune: The Secret Parts of Fortune
  3. Outrageous Fortune: Remorseless, Treacherous, Lecherous

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